Help Kids Shine: Shift to Strengths, See Them Soar
Imagine this: You’re leading a group of kids—whether in a classroom, a youth group, or at home—and you notice one child struggling to keep up. The instinct is to correct, to fix what’s wrong. But what if, instead, you shifted your attention to their strengths? What if you became the person who sees what’s right? This simple change can unlock potential, helping kids fly higher than you ever thought possible.
Strengths-Based Approach for Working with Kids
Lea Waters, PhD, found that focusing on what kids do well changes everything. She calls this the "Strengths Switch," where you highlight strengths instead of weaknesses, helping kids see the best in themselves. When kids feel seen and valued for their strengths, they grow more confident, engaged, and ready to take on challenges. This approach not only boosts their success in school and social settings but also strengthens their connections with those who support them. When kids feel strong, seen, and valued, they don’t just get by—they soar.
Know Your Strengths to See Theirs
Donald Clifton, the pioneer of strengths psychology, believed that when leaders know their own strengths, they can see the best in others. A youth leader who understands how they’re wired—whether through empathy, strategy, or communication—connects more deeply with kids, making each interaction meaningful. This self-awareness allows leaders to recognize the unique strengths in every child and guide them in a way that feels natural and supportive. Martin Seligman’s research in positive psychology shows that when leaders focus on their strengths, they model resilience and set the tone for kids to do the same. Kids who see their leaders using their strengths feel seen, valued, and inspired to lean into their own, finding their best path forward.
Practical Steps to Shift Your Focus
Ready to make the shift? Here’s how to start focusing on strengths with the kids in your life:
Identify Their Strengths
Notice what energizes them—whether it’s solving puzzles, helping others, or storytelling. Look for activities where they naturally excel and light up.Affirm Their Strengths Daily
Regularly acknowledge their strengths. A simple “I noticed how creative you were” builds confidence and reinforces positive behaviors.Create Opportunities for Strengths
Allow them to use their strengths in everyday tasks. If a child shows leadership skills, let them take charge of a group activity. If they’re detail-oriented, involve them in organizing.Use Strengths-Based Feedback
When offering guidance, relate it to their strengths. If they’re struggling, remind them how they’ve used their strengths to succeed before.Celebrate Growth
Recognize effort and progress, no matter how small. This encourages them to keep using and developing their strengths.
Two Ways to Help Kids Shine: A Story of Mia and Alex
Mia: Growing Through Kindness
Mia is naturally kind and loves helping others, but she often stays in the background. Sarah, her youth pastor, saw that Mia’s strength was in nurturing and guiding others. Instead of pushing Mia to be more outspoken, Sarah gave her a chance to lead by mentoring younger kids. Mia’s confidence grew, not because she was forced into the spotlight, but because she was celebrated for what she naturally did best.
Alex: Thriving with Structure and Logic
Alex, on the other hand, was detail-oriented and thrived in tasks that required focus and planning. While social settings often drained him, problem-solving lit him up. Sarah tapped into Alex’s analytical nature by involving him in event planning and tech setup. This allowed Alex to shine in his way, giving him a sense of purpose and validation for his unique skills.
Key Takeaways
Celebrate Natural Strengths: Both Mia and Alex found confidence when their strengths were affirmed, not forced to change.
Tailor Your Approach: Recognize what each kid naturally brings to the table and create opportunities for those strengths to grow.
Empower, Don’t Fix: The goal isn’t to fix what’s “wrong” but to empower kids through what’s “right.”
What You Can Do
Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or youth leader, take a moment to observe the kids you work with. What are their strengths? How can you create small opportunities for those strengths to shine? When you focus on what’s right, you help kids build confidence in their authentic selves—and that’s when you really see them soar.
Take the Next Step
Imagine the impact if every child felt recognized for their strengths instead of their weaknesses. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or youth leader, you have the power to make this shift. Start noticing what’s right, and watch how it transforms not just the kids you work with but the entire environment around them.
Want to Explore More? The Strengths Switch by Lea Waters, PhD, provides deeper insights and practical tools to implement this approach in your everyday interactions with kids. Check it out on Amazon here.
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